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THE CHRISTMAS TOY
Original Airdate: December 6, 1986

SYNOPSIS:
An extremely unique tale from Jim Henson starring a playroom full of Muppety toys come to life! A young girl’s favorite toy from last Christmas, Rugby Tiger, doesn’t understand that the holiday means that his status as alpha plaything can change on an annual basis. He leaves the playroom, and it’s up to the rest of the toys to stop him before he’s spotted out-of-place by unsuspecting humans. Because - unlike in other toy stories - for the toys of The Christmas Toy, that spells DEATH!

BACKSTORY:
Not only my favorite Muppet Christmas Special (and there are many), but one of my favorite Christmas Specials of all time!

The Christmas Toy never got the repeated airplay that Emmet Otter Jug-Band Christmas or A Muppet Family Christmas received, but I recall that it was shown pretty consistently on The Disney Channel back when that was still a premium channel, although it originally aired on ABC.  No surprise, though, given that I now learned that Disney spun it off into a short-lived series called The Secret Life of Toys eight years later.

The 1994 Disney Channel show that lasted a single season

Of course, The Henson Company’s various dealings with Disney are one of the things that has came back to bite The Christmas Toy in the ass. Historically, Jim Henson regularly brought Kermit the Frog out to introduce new characters during specials, but under their new ownership, Kermit’s narration has been cut from both Emmet Otter’s and A Christmas Story’s DVDs due to rights issues.

The fact that there are two title screens almost leads me to believe they knew Kermit would get cut out eventually

…Much to fans chagrin, I might add, according to the last time I check the Amazon ratings. Luckily, Kermit’s omission didn’t altogether ruin my enjoyment of the DVD, but his original inclusion during the finale reprise of the song “We’ll Be Together at Christmas (Old Friends)” is sorely missed.

A Scandinavian YouTube vid is all we have to know that Kermit ever appeared in The Christmas Toy

BREAKDOWN:

God, I wish I could buy one of these guys

Not only do I feel like The Christmas Toy doesn’t get the respect it’s due – namely, by never being included in the pantheon of alleged “classics” we see trotted out on TV each year - but I also never hear anyone call out its glaringly obvious similarities to Pixar’s Toy Story. Now, I love the Toy Storys and I’m not saying they ripped off Jim Henson, since the plot isn’t all that similar. But once you compare the premise and scenario, you’ll find a shitload of overlap:

Rugby vs. Woody – The star toy uncomfortable sharing the spotlight

Meteora vs. Buzz Lightyear – The new space-themed toy soon to become the new favorite

Mew vs. Slinky Dog – The favorite toy’s loyal companion willing to risk life and limb

Apple vs. Jesse – The once loved, now forgotten toy

“Barbie” vs. Barbie© – C’mon, look at ‘em!

But there’s one thing The Christmas Toy takes a step further. Whereas Woody and Co. simply hide from people, The Christmas Toy explains why toys need to hide, and what the consequences are.

See Ditz in the middle? Don’t get too attached to him

Rugby Tiger, almost an antihero in the beginning, is oblivious to the fact that Christmas brings new toys anually, since he’d just been unwrapped last December 25th. So once the lovable egomaniac learns that it’s Christmas Eve, he sneaks out of the playroom to take what he believes to be his rightful place every year: inside a wrapped box, under the tree.

Mew, the adorable cat toy widely despised by the rest of the group for smelling like catnip, warns everyone about Rugby’s plans during the Holiday preparations, and the entire playroom begins to run around like one of Gonzo’s girlfriends with her head cut off.

There are a lot of moving Muppet legs in this

Amid the chaos, Ditz, the moronic clown toy, idiotically figures that the simplest thing to do is run outside and get Rugby back. Unfortunately, the humans are still awake and…things don’t go well:

And that’s why you never leave the playroom.

Toys found in motion by people are “frozen forever,” or, to remove the sugarcoating: DEAD! This is part of the reason I’m not entirely upset about Kermit being cut out of the DVD.

A Very Merry Funeral Procession

The story stands pretty firmly on its own, plus it always seemed to me that whenever Henson was freed up from the legacy of Kermit and Big Bird, we got a more unique, touching, and compelling story. And yes, often times a little darker one than we were anticipating. (Look at The Dark Crystal, The Storyteller, Labyrinth, and Fraggle Rock, and I think you’ll agree with me.)

A pile of dead toys

I’d agree that it’s a little scary, but I think that taking that kind of risk is what makes the stories feel more personal. Putting something as dire as death on the line is admirable, plus I also love that the closest thing The Christmas Toy has to a villain is People! An absurdly normal family of five going about their Christmas Eve are portrayed like fearsome giants, ghoulish guards capable of ending the life of any toy they spot.

Anyway, Mew finally earns a little respect for himself by aiding Rugby in avoiding the parents and their Medusa-like gaze, and they make their way down to the Christmas Tree.

Love the scale here

But once Rugby opens the box to take his ill-perceived throne, an all-new terror is unleashed:

Meteora!

Again, like a certain other space ranger, Meteora takes herself very seriously. Completely unaware that she too is in fact a toy, she shouts battle cries at Rugby, Mew and the other toys who have come along for the rescue mission…which would be amusing if it didn’t WAKE THE HUMANS!

Ever the badass, Mew belts out an impromptu kitty cat impression

Thank Christ a quick-thinking Mew keeps the crew unseen. Getting close to the brink of death teaches Rugby a lesson of humility, and he and the lovable Mew coax Meteora back into her Christmas packaging with a song that’s too fucking adorable for words.

The outlook is good as the gang makes one last mad dash for the sancterrific confines of the playroom with the aid of some motorized toys, but poor, poor Mew loses hold and is left in the hallway. Please… don’t… open… the door!

SHIT!

Seriously?! Mew – my candidate for greatest character of all time – DEAD?! Once again, here’s the heartbreaking loss and sadness that the Henson group sneaks upon families so well.

Gets me every time

And not to harp on the Toy Story connection, but remember that Sarah McLachlan montage about Jesse and her obsolescence in the second film? Rugby is grounded by a tear-jerking tune sung by the admittedly creepy Apple, who provides an alternate perspective to the egocentric version the precious had Tiger belted out.

Flashback Version 2.0

She’s the toy that’s been outgrown, she’s the toy that’s been replaced…by Rugby in fact. And if I haven’t praised the music enough, let me say that it rules, skipping from the relative tragedies found in the climax to the comparatively un-Henson opening rock-out that explains why toys come to life in the first place: They’re built to play, and the need to do so doesn’t go away just because humans aren’t around.

So yeah, songs… Rugby visits Mew for a final time in his open-casket kitty resting place to sing Mew a touching little tune about how much his friendship of this little mouse-that-nobody-liked meant to him. And yeah, Mew comes back to life:

I know, I complain about miraculous endings that appear to serve no purpose other than to end happily…but to me what separates and redeems the situation in The Christmas Toy is that Mew actually talks about the experience of dying and being dead in way that still gives me goosebumps.

Rise of the fallen

And I’m cool with the rest of the toys getting sung back to life, too, because the last thing in the world I want to think about is characters who sound just like Gonzo and Wembley Fraggle dying forever. I can’t be walking around crying over departed Muppets – I’m a man approaching my thirties, dammit!

The Christmas Toy closes out with everybody back together and loved, and if that ain’t Christmas-y enough for you then maybe you’d be happier celebrating Chaunakkah, mister!

Sadly, the DVD released by HIT Entertainment cuts out Kermit’s reprisal of “We’ll Be Together at Christmas, (Old Friends, New Friends)” but the song would later find its way into other Muppet projects, including the epically ensemble A Muppet Family Christmas released a year later. Oh, you’d better believe I’ll be writing that one up…

Given that it was created by Jim Henson and his company full of filthy, long-haired liberals: None. Although The Christmas Story does contain more resurrections than The Old Testament.

Once again, a certain frog was acting as Claus for this one, so in terms of the DVD, Disney owns the right to this Santa and isn’t letting go.

Five out of five Balls! Can’t help it, this might be my favorite Christmas Special of all time, so I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Fat Albert or Fred Flinstone walk away with more Flaming Balls of  Spirit!

A WISH FOR WINGS THAT WORK
Original Air Date: December 18, 1991

SYNOPSIS:
Stricken with being born a Penguin, poor old Opus cannot fly. But that won’t stop him from wishing… for 23 minutes straight.

BACKGROUND:
Opus was never meant to be the star of Berkeley Breathed’s Pulitzer Prize winning comic strip, Bloom County, but the existential penguin introduced himself in a one-off gag six months in and simply refused to leave. Even after Breathed retired the Bloom County characters to create an all new, Sunday-only strip called Outland in 1989, Opus and company wormed their way back in, and eventually forced the original premise and characters into the shadows until that strip was retired in 1995.

Opus in an early strip and the book on which the special is based

During the Outland years, Breathed spun Opus off into a couple of children-friendly books, including A Wish for Wings That Work in 1991, which coincided with an animated Christmas special that same year. Following Breathed’s second retirement in 1995, he decided to come back to comics yet again in 2003, only this time he cut the bullshit with a strip simply entitled, Opus. Once he grew sick of that series, he once-and-for-all eliminated any chance of a return by killing Opus off in 2008.

Sorta dead at the moment

BREAKDOWN:
As a diehard comic strip fan, I couldn’t wait to watch Opus’s animation debut in 1991. But somehow, due to scheduling conflicts beyond an 11-year-old’s control, I missed the airing. During the dark days of life without DVDs and YouTube, I had no other choice but to wait for the following year.

I scanned the TV guide that December and each one that followed hoping to find A Wish for Wings That Work’s inevitable reairing, but that never happened… now I know why. When a reporter asked Breathed just a few years ago where he could find the special, the author curtly responded:

“Hopefully in the rubbish pail. We can do better than that and we will with an eventual Opus film…but I’m glad you enjoyed it. I presume your family was on speed when they watched it. I would imagine it helps.”

Opus’ falling fanny gag makes numerous appearances

Sucks to be right. As sad as it may seem for Wings That Work to fall into obscurity, the wasted potential displayed in Opus’s only onscreen adaptation to date is far more tragic. In spite of featuring some quality animation and clever wordplay, the pacing is agonizingly slow and none of the comic strip’s subversive charm translates on the screen.

You can’t see it, but that is a jar of “Herring Stomach Pate” on the left

Since the book only gave the animators thirty pages of source material, most of which were large pictures, the half-hour special really takes its time going almost nowhere. The special opens as Opus is writing a letter to Santa. It’s not clear what he’s asking for yet, but given the aeronautical theme of his room (and the title of the special), you’ll probably have some idea.

Looky there, Opus has a Tie Fighter!

Yes, Opus is a penguin. And his wings don’t work. But he sure wishes they did! If you feel like I just wasted your time with the last three sentences, you may want to skip the first half of the special, since it’s a flashback largely focused on driving home a point perfectly made by the title alone, then padded with overwrought dialogue and lifeless gags.

As much it would break my heart to state that Bloom County’s stable of characters do not work off the page, A Wish for Wings That Work gives me no reason to believe otherwise. Bill the Cat, I’m talking primarily to you. It’s not hard to see what made the hard-drinking Garfield parody standout on a newspaper page; however, any sense of edginess has been removed to appeal to kids.

You’re lucky to get away with having a nutsack for a face

What’s the point of a speechless, mildly gross cat when Ren and Stimpy are practically fisting each other over on Nickelodeon while you won’t show Bill coughing a hairball up in frame? Yet he still appears in nearly every scene just to punctuate it with an act of stupidity.  Example:

1. Opus yearns for flight…

2. Bill does something (nothing)

Actually, none of the characters do anything in particular, really. Take Truffles the Pig, who shows up to reiterate that Opus cannot, in fact, fly. Nevermind that Truffles thinks he’s a Rhinoceros – that’s an irony that’s never explored and payoff/comeuppance that’s never addressed, making for an utterly useless scene.

Oh, yeah and then…

Bill does something (nothing)

Three ducks, who at least serve a purpose for the plot, also show up to mercilessly mock Opus for his inability to fly. For all I know, they could be quite likable, but I was too distracted by the fact that they were voiced by half the cast of Tiny Toon Adventures, who didn’t seem to realize they were recording a different show.

Featuring the voice of Plucky Duck as a plucky duck

Speaking of familiar voices, it’s important to mention that A Wish for Wings That Work was made by Steven Spielberg’s Amblin Entertainment. Not only did the famous director bring along the cast from his other animated programs, the production coincided with the filming of Hook and Senor Spielbergo convinced Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman to perform uncredited voiceovers during Opus’ flightless bird group therapy meeting with Outland outcast Ronald-Ann Smith.

As much as I hate to admit it, Williams’ Kiwi is a standout character

Unfortunately, both celeb appearances are brief, and the favor they extended to Spielberg apparently came with the caveat that it be done quickly. You don’t have to be an audiophile to notice a significantly poorer fidelity. It’s as if someone stuck up a microphone next to Williams while he was on-set squeezing himself into a leotard and Hoffman demanded he do only one take, in the rain.

Hoffman voices variation on Milquetoast the cockroach, albeit in drag

Oh, and following the therapy sequence that’s little more than a Robin Williams showcase:

Bill does something (nothing)

It’s all pretty meaningless, and by the time you realize that this was all a flashback written in Opus’s opening letter to Santa, you’re halfway through the special. Luckily, this is where things almost get interesting. But first Opus has to get his wish to the big man, and fast.

HA! Fax machine joke – timeless!

Nicely done, nineties! Opus can sleep soundly knowing that technology got his letter to the North Pole on time. So, while he dreams of a prolonged plane crash incorporating way too much footage from Frank Capra’s Lost Horizon…

A little too long for a reference few will get

And, oh yeah…

Bill does something (nothing)

Santa has a little accident and falls out of the sky! The whereabouts of his landing… unknown.

Now that’s a Christmas image for the kids

Then those dickhead ducks show up at Opus’ door in an unannounced frenzy and drag him out to a thawed lake.

Both Opus and I assume this is part of some sort of fraternity hazing, but it turns out they’re actually in need of his help.

Dear God, won’t someone save The Claus?!

Oh, yeah! I do believe someone here is an aquatic bird…

SHOOOOOM

The trashing I’ve given AWFWTW aside, the animation is a actually pretty awesome. Definitely cut above Amblin’s work during the early nineties, and the lake sequence is definitely a highlight for me. I’m a sucker for speed-based water displacement (probably not the technical term) so despite the special’s shortcomings, this does make for a pretty good climax.

Opus is validated as a badass by the big man himself.

And in front of his tormentors, no less!

Although Santa praises his courageousness, his cryptic message doesn’t leave Opus, or the viewer, with the gift desired. But I guess that depends on what you make of the events of the following morning.

Another unexpected knock at the door, followed by more ducks. Only this time, a giant flock of them!

With no explanation given, they smile, ignore his protests and yank Opus from his home once again… Oh, to what cruel measure?!

D’awwwww. No malice intended. No words necessary. In a show of uncharacteristic respect, the ducks swoop Opus up into the air, acknowledging his bravery with the gift of flight he always wanted. Meanwhile, back on land:

Bill does something (nothing)

Christ is neither seen nor mentioned throughout the entirety of A Wish for Wings That Work. However, during the scene where Santa is hauling ass, there are many clouds ambiguously shaped like recognizable icons. I’m awarding a single cross solely for my refusal to research it any further after all I could find was Goofy:

GAWRSH!

Santa’s certainly presented here, just never very clearly. I’m not sure what the animators were trying to keep from us, but Cap’n Kringle is only seen darkened, blurred, slightly out of frame, and most bizarrely, in an extreme close up

I also docked Santa a cookie for not rewarding Opus materially even though he saved his life. The guy has one job: delivering presents. And most certainly not to deliver mysterious messages taken from a Twin Peaks dream sequence.

The issue here is that Opus himself gained very little, and only the assholes learned anything about the Reason for the Season (not unlike A Charlie Brown Christmas.) But since the ducks didn’t make their intentions clear, one can interpret the ending in two ways, based on their adornment of Opus’s bow tie.

Either they’ve gained a new found respect for Opus and the innate gifts of his species and acknowledge his act of bravery by mimicking his style of dress. OR, saving Santa saved Christmas – thus ensuring presents did not go undistributed - and the ducks received the bow ties they’d been asking for. Could the ducks have been harboring a secret messianic plan for Opus all along?!

THE SNOWMAN
Original Airdate: December 24, 1982

SYNOPSIS:
James is a young boy left largely alone in his countryside home during a a winter of epic snowfall. One day he builds a snowman for companionship, and as luck would have it, the thing comes to life! The two engage in lighthearted mischief until the sentient creature of compacted condensation eventually flies the boy to the North Pole for a party he’ll never forget.

BACKSTORY:
The Snowman is one of the few Christmas specials created in my lifetime that still gets significant play damn near every year here in the states. But more impressively, it has never abandoned its Christmas Eve time slot on the UK’s Channel 4 since it first aired back in 1982.

The air? They’re walking on it

Even when viewed from an animation landscape dominated by computers, the hand-drawn care and craft put into this Holiday favorite is evident right from the introductory zoom, which seamlessly take us across miles of snowy countryside and into the bedroom of our star – excuse me, co-star.

Go back to bed, second fiddle!

One of the ways in which The Snowman distinguishes itself is by being one of the only Christmas specials I can remember that contains no dialogue, so as to remain faithful the wordless 1978 book by Raymond Briggs.

Instead, this story unfolds through lavishly animated sequences directed by Dianne Jackson (credited with The Beatles’ character design in Yellow Submarine) and an immensely evocative score, composed by Howard Blake, that pleasantly punctuates the squiggly, crayon fluidity occurring onscreen.

The original book cover and a popular figurine produced in 1985

Though it isn’t altogether “wordless,” mind you, and that’s where history has buried The Snowman’s goofiest trivia tidbit! The Snowman originally aired with an uber-brief, live-action intro featuring author Raymond Briggs himself, who sets the stage before the scene dissolves into animation:

“I remember that winter because it brought the heaviest snows I’ve ever seen. Snow had fallen steadily all night long. And in the morning, I awoke in a room filled with light and silence. The whole world seemed to be held in a dreamlike stillness. It was a magical day. And it was on that day I made The Snowman.” – Every line of spoken dialogue!

Short, personal, and close to perfect. However, following several initial Briggs-introduced airings of The Snowman in the US, a few years later Americans were greeted by an all new introduction from none other than Ziggy Stardust himself: David Bowie?!

Odd choice… but it’s still BOOOOWIE! Click here to view the entire sequence.

On The Snowman’s 20th anniversary in 2002, UK viewers received another updated introduction from British comedian Mel Smith, which I assume was done to accommodate wide screen televisions. Still, it seems a little unnecessary…if for no other reason than that there’s really no point in updating the timeless. People tune in to see something familiar, something traditional. You’ve already managed to strike a chord with viewers year after year, so what’s the point?! NEEEERD RAAAAGE!!!

Sort of like a Calvin and Hobbes who don’t question authority

BREAKDOWN:
With no catch phrases, licensed music, or celebrity appearances you could say that The Snowman is nearly impossible to date. It’s a stone-simple tale of a boy and his imaginary friend that should have no trouble appealing to television viewers of all ages, especially when wrapped in the shell of the Christmas season. Besides, you’d think if they were going to adapt anything to modern times, it’d be the scene where James and Snowy steal a motorcycle!

Note: DO NOT CUT THIS!

Barring a little Grand Theft Auto (they returned it!), the boys spend the bulk of the 26 minute special engaging in childish hijinks, until Snowman experiences a bit of homesickness while playing unattended in an unlocked freezer (again, no edit please!). And that’s when things get batshit beautiful:

The Snowman takes young James by the hand and they zip over mountain tops, oceans, and several other landmarks I’d presumably recognize if I’d ever been to England.

It’s truly a gorgeous sequence thanks to the breathtaking floating camera effects generally not associated with televised animation of the day, and the hauntingly sweet song that accompanies the flight, entitled “Walking in the Air.” I could try and describe it with more incoherent babble, but you wouldn’t you rather just watch it?

Each and every scene of the pencil-etched serenade is astounding to behold, but this especially is one of those TV moments that never fails to give me goosebumps year after year.

The fact that none of the other attendees bothered to bring a human shows we have a ways to go in snowpeople relations

James and the Snowman land at what we can assume to be the North Pole, with a gaggle (I can say that because they flew in formation) of other snowmen in tow, just in time for the Christmas party to end all Christmas parties!

These snowmen ’bout to set it off!

And if reanimated clumps of weather drunk off their asses weren’t enough to delight the kid in all of us, James gets to meet the one and only Santa Claus…

You’ve all fantasized about it!

…who then chauffeurs James around the arctic shindig of hard partying snowmen as the guest of honor! And if that weren’t enough to send the 10-year-old inside you into a jealous rage, Mr. Claus even introduces him to a couple of reindeer before giving him his Christmas gift early!

TRIVIA: The name tag on that present is how we know the boy’s name

Oh, a scarf… The very same one you saw Mr. Bowie wearing above. But if you think flying all that way to the North Pole in your pajamas for inexpensive winter wear is a bit of a letdown… well, then you probably also forgot The Snowman’s ending.

mommy…

I was too lenient on Christ yesterday so 0 out of 5 Crosses! (He’ll get over it.) Whatever your belief in the man, can’t we all agree that until the savior adopts a better wardrobe, he is utterly ill-equipped to survive in an Arctic climate?

Big Time Amazing! It’s quite humanizing to see the big guy cutting loose the day before a horrendous shift. Plus, his first appearance makes for one helluva climax!

“WHAT UP!”

Wow! Our first 5-Baller! Though I doubt many of you will dispute me. If you’re my age, you’ve probably seen it a hundred times. If not, you can probably remember Nickelodeon running short infomercials for The Snowman on VHS year round. That shouldn’t really qualify it as more spirited, but for the purposes of this blog, it sorta does…

MISTER MAGOO’S CHRISTMAS CAROL
Original Air Date: December 18, 1962

SHORT SYNOPSIS:
Everybody’s favorite sightless moron finds Christ-like redemption after a visitation from three ghosts in TV’s inaugural animated Holiday special that could be best described as downright Dickensian!

BACKSTORY:
What better way to kick off the Animated Christmas Advent Calendar than with the first ever made-for-television animated Christmas Special?! Well, okay… admittedly, I could count about a billion specials I’d rather watch, write and read about, but you gotta pay Mr. Magoo his due. Television studios were unsure of the viability of TV animation, and I sort of admire the balls of using a cartoon character, who was basically one big blind joke, as a Christmas-themed testing ground for the entire medium of TV animation.

Which role will Jim Backus be more fondly remembered for: Thurston Howell III from Gilligan’s Island or the voice of Mr. Magoo? The answer, when the last baby boomer dies

What Mister’s Magoo Christmas Carol lacks in quality animation, political correctness and consumptive longevity, it made up for in sheer timeliness! Its success paved the way for Rankin/Bass’s Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer two years later, and A Charlie Brown Christmas three years later. So yeah, if you care at all for Christmas specials, or any televised animation, from The Flintstones to Family Guy, have a little respect for Magoo, will ya?

BREAKDOWN:
Like most adaptations of A Christmas Carol, United Paramount Animation had to figure out a way to cast its altogether likeable character in the role of Christmas’s biggest asshole. Whereas adaptations like Bugs Bunny’s Christmas Carol found an easy fit, with Yosemite Sam in the shoes of Scrooge, take a look at what other ensemble franchises resorted to in order to avoid the decision entirely.

With nary a villainous Muppet in the bunch, A Muppet Christmas Carol had to call in the services of Sir Michael Caine to play the notorious curmudgeon. And Disney had to drag Scrooge McDuck out of the comic pages and onto the screen for an unprecedented starring role (he’d only previously appeared in a single animated cartoon) even though 1983′s Mickey’s Christmas Carol was more notably the titular Mouse’s first appearance in a theatrical short in three decades!

So how did United Paramount Animation go about turning an otherwise likable, doddering old fart with poor vision into literature’s most notorious dick? By presenting A Christmas Carol as a play within the special.

Oh Mr. Magoo, you’re so handicapped!

Mr. Magoo crashes his car on Broadway, barely finds the theater, puts on his costume, and following a few comical acts at the expense of the visually impaired, he’s finally ushered on to stage to star in the part of Ebenezer Scrooge for the duration of the special.

It’s a good thing too, ‘cause Magoo’s Scrooge says some pretty horrible shit

A novel idea, to say the least, although its legacy has ironically taken a dump on itself: To incorporate more commercials for airings within the last decade, the opening sequence has been cut entirely!

Also out of character: Gerald McBoing-Boing in a rare speaking role!

Anyway, Magoo, I mean, Scrooge is visited by three ghosts… Actually, it all unfolds pretty typically… Seriously, need I bore you with the details of just how Christmas Carolly Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol is?

The Ghost of Christmas Present – CHECK

The Ghost of Christmas Past – CHECK

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come – CHECK

Visits own grave – CHECK

Well wishes from window – CHECK

True meaning of Christmas – SOLVED!

Some liberties are taken with Chuck Dickens’ source material, but it’s only some light streamlining that should only provoke the ire of pompous jerks who prefer their Christmas Specials hardbound and 200 years old.

This gay group is singing about robbing the graze of Mr. Magoo – TRA-LA-LA!

I never found the songs all that memorable, but you’ve got some pretty quaint low-fi musical numbers here, a highlight being the closing number where Jim Backus lays out his vocal ineptitude in such a hilariously, cringe worthy manner, it’s almost admirable for its honesty alone. (Plus Mr. Show nerds will finally know what the “Razzleberry Waterfall” is reference to!)

Oh, and looky there! The entire cast comes out to take a bow. The perfect bookend to the play-within-a-show, meta-presentation? Possibly. But I’m pretty sure it’s due to the writers going through a severe bout of comedic withdrawal, having not made a blind joke for 45 minutes.

You can go home now

None, but any tale generosity on or around JC’s B -day is worth a single cross, right? Actually, if I say that it’s because Charles Dickens novel is so old it was written before the birth of Christ, I bet there’s a handful of people who will take my word for it. So, let’s justify it that way… OH! But the special does contain a mosaic shot of a Tree Star that I consider to be nothing short of DIVINE:

WOW!

Zero. Which, if not out of courtesy for the source material, would be otherwise unacceptable.

I guess. It’s almost unfair, since even the worst version of A Christmas Carol somehow perfectly embodies the season… But I refuse to give it a “5 out of 5 Ball” pass, so as not to encourage lazy network suits devoid of ideas into making further adaptations. Enough with the Dickens, K?

Dude… Christmas rules amirite?! But as we “The Children of the 80’s,” grow older, crap like work deadlines, the price of airfare, and gift-giving budgetary restraints do their damndest to damper our Holiday Spirit year in and year out. Let ‘em try! I’ve got a backlog of DVDs with enough Xmas Mojo to keep even the most terminal case of Yule Tide Blues at bay.

I too was once frustrated and bored by the Holiday season, increasingly cynical of the “commercialism of it all” and all that jazz. But the reason Christmas is marketed in such a way is because, quite simply, it works! No other cultural event conjures such a specific mood, music, and feeling anywhere close to that of the majority of December, regardless of how much Hallmark and Best Buy would like to manufacture one. Just because I can’t get behind the current Target Superstore, Hanna Montana version of “The Christmas Spirit” doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have one at all, right? Hell, I’m entitled to one… we all are.

Home Video to the rescue! I’ve managed to find tremendous solace within Christmas Specials I grew up with as a kid. Charlie Brown, Mickey Mouse, and Kermit the Frog still have the power to rip me out of my day to day drudgery and place me smack dab into a place and time where I truly felt the Christmas season was magical and meant something. Clichéd though it may sound, once I throw on one of these Christmas Specials, my brain is whipped to a place and time where I smell firewood, enjoy bad music, and experience a childlike anticipation for gifts I know I’ll never receive.

Unfortunately, most of the specials near and dear to me no longer air on television with the frequency they used to, if at all. Sad, but who knows? Maybe that’s why I like ‘em. Either way, I figured there’d also be a sizable chunk of people out there in Internet land that would, too.

As an animation nerd, nothing warms my guts more than a traditional Holiday favorite. However, I also derive sensational amount of pleasure from getting re-exposed to the good ones I forgot existed, and yes, the bad ones we all wish didn’t. I’ve done my damnedest to track down personal favorites, and personal punching bags, through the various means provided to me by 21st century existence, and I’m trying to lay out one a day for public recollection from now until Christmas Day.

An Animated Advent Calendar for all to enjoy!

Wish me luck,
C.Ant

PS: I encourage anybody to suggest any particular Christmas specials you’d care to see covered here. I’ve also provided Amazon.com links to any specials available on DVD. PLEASE CLICK! Buying through us won’t cost you a dime, but will contribute a small portion of your purchase to the site in order to keep it going!